If a person was guilty and punish in childhood without an explanation of what exactly he did wrong, feeling guilty and expecting punishment becomes a habitual pattern in intimacy. Fear of punishment, exposure is a faithful difference between companion of guilt. The problem is that through punishment, cause-and-effect relationships and the ability to face consequences are not form, as with responsibility, but a pattern of being guilty and afraid, at the same time expecting, striving for punishment, is form.
The difference between guilt and responsibility
Is that guilt is destructive and is associat with aggression direct at oneself, while it is very difficult to perform constructive actions from aggression. The meaning of responsibility is very fully reflect in the English version of the difference between word responsibility. It is literally translat as “the ability to bear responsibility”, the ability architect database to answer for one’s actions, to acknowlge them, and also to withstand the consequences. Responsibility does not contain reproach, cruelty to oneself, condemnation. There is recognition of the fact and a willingness to face the consequences for the sake of preserving an important process or relationship.
Responsibility is an adult quality that
We learn with the help of adults. Not through a system of punishments, but through the consistent construction of cause-and-effect relationships. Responsibility is very adaptive. I will tell you what this means with an example.
You decid to repaint the walls following
YouTube videos and it turn out badly, you understand that you ne to ro it. A person with a strong guilt pattern (and this often for example there is no point in opening becomes a behavior pattern) will feel guilty, spend all his energy on self-flagellation, and when difference between it is completely exhaust, he will find himself emotionally agb directory exhaust, disappoint and decide not to continue, because his hands are wrong and in general, renovations are not possible for people like him. What is the use of guilt here? Absolutely none: the walls are not finish, the person feels terrible.